Shity first draft

INTRO

Rhetoric is a term that is often misunderstood. Many people are scared and think it means trickery. Aristotle the Greek philosopher talked much of rhetoric and it importance in humanity. Most of us use rhetoric in our every day speech and writings—without even knowing. Rhetoric is just using language to persuade. Many factors contribute to effective use of rhetoric. These factors include audience identity, understanding genre and it conventions, tone, stance, and using ethos, pathos and logos. In order to better understand rhetoric and it use in the professional world I interviewed Phil Scrivano, (Chief technology officer) Simi Valley School District. Board of directors for CEPTA (California Educational Technology Professionals Association) Phil provided me with an article called Engineering Review that will release soon for the CEPTA journal. ( Working Thesis) By studying this engineering review I learned that his most important aspect is keeping a neutral and informative tone/stance.

(Phil’s Job Explanation)

Before we can tackle how Phil uses rhetoric to reach his audience. Let me explain what he does and what CEPTA is. His job title is CTO (Chief Technology Officer) his job is to work closely with Super Intendant, Principals as well as other admin staff for his school district. K-12 education has changed a lot since any of our days in school. Technology is a big part of learning. It is incorporated into almost every subject taught. His job is to make decisions district wide about technology policies—devices used, Internet infrastructure, classroom tech, lastly how the teacher uses it to teach. CETPA is a statewide organization, which gives a chance for school district’s technical employees to meet and learn what others are doing throughout the state.

Artifact definition

Now that we have a background on Phil, lets go over the reason behind his document. It is a 15-page document going over an Engineering Review. This review is of Content filters—This is a device that will filter what students and staff are able to search, while on campus. As the Internet has evolved, one can access a lot of great information, however one can also access a lot of damaging information. Schools are required to limit student’s capability to access hurtful information—Porn, Guns, ect…

Genre/Tone / Stance

  In order for this review to be successful first lets look at the genre and it conventions. From the intro forward he insures the reader that the point of this article is to provide raw data collected. Not to give an opinion about which company is best. So this should be as non-biased as possible. He needs to take a natural stance as a writer. Phil directly states this several times in the article, so I know this is an important factor. “The Rubric is designed to not favor any particular vendor or product design but rather the needs of the costumers.” Another convention behind this article is to be fair to all vendors. This is why Phil and his team incorporated a rubric to be used. So all companies will be judged on the same criteria. Once again having a natural stance and tone is what makes this paper effective. If the readers can pick up a bias they may disregard his information or study.

Audience

Phil must also keep in mind his intended Audience. This is an EDTech journal, which is send out to technology employees that work at school districts. The audience is quiet a small group. They are also a skilled group; he does not address the definition or function of a content filter. He expects his audience to already know that information. He does not want to bore the audience with added definition; this article is already 15 pg long. He may loose some of his readers if he includes too much excess/unnecessarily info.  He does give some background info, but a layperson would have a hard time understanding this article.

Conclusion

Rhetoric is not a word or skill to be feared. Instead it should be a weapon that we use in our day-to-day lives. One must use it on a professional level. By studying Phil article. We examined the important factors that make rhetoric effective. This includes, genre analyses, intended audience, and lastly the appropriate use of tone/stance. All theses aspects play on each other and it is important to touch on each one, however for this article Phil’s tone and stance is the most vital to his success.  

Week 7

Annoying way people use sources.

I felt the reading this week were great. This is one area where I am weak. I know that a writer needs to cite sources, but I am unsure about the proper way to do so. What is the best time to cite? Where in the structure should I use quotations? And what is considered too much or too little?

This reading compares poor citation with slow drivers who won’t move over for faster traffic.  As a California driver this is easy to relate to. Many times I am forced to pass on the right and give a mean-mug to the slow driver. I don't want my readers to be giving me a mean-mug! Take a look at the all time mean-mugger Kanye West.

This article talks about how you might have the coolest paint job or set of rims. However, if someone is pissed at you for not following a driving convention, your paint job and set of rims will not get admired. This also goes for writing; you may have great points, vivid language, exquisite organization, but this can get over looked with poor citation.

Once again genre and Audience is important.

 Tactics to avoid  

Armadillo Roadkill- Using a quotation with out first introducing the source.

Dating Spider-Man- Starting or ending a paragraph with a quotations.

Uncle Barry and His Encyclopedia of Useless Information – Too many quotes in a row.

Am I in the Right Movie? – Using a quote that does not match the grammar of the surrounding sentences.

The other article talks about similar topic and goes in to more detail about when it is proper to cite. I will definitely return to these articles while I write my draft. Plagiarism is a big scary word and most classes devote half a page of the syllabus talking about it. It is important to understand it, so we don't end up with a big FAT O.

Don't end up like this guy. With modern technology it is easy to get caught. When you’re in doubt cite. Speaking of citation in order to make my blog more interesting, I used some ideas from AJ Skiles. Thanks for the motivation AJ!  

Thesis

CTO (Chief technology officer) Phil Scrivano, Simi Valley School District. Board of directors for CEPTA (California Educational Technology Professionals Association)

Phil gave me an article that will release soon for the CEPTA journal.

Thesis 1

In order for this Engineering Review to be successful, he had to relate to Ethos, Pathos, and Logos; keep the language and tone appropriate for his audience, and lastly he had to maintain a neutral stance.

Thesis 2

In order for this Engineering Review to be successful, he had to write in order to fit into the proper genre, which includes fitting into all it’s contingencies, using proper tone, stance, and lastly using ethos, pathos, and logos to connect with his intended audience.

Week 6

Shitty First Drafts,

I liked this reading. The first few paragraphs, she established credibility—by relating that many great writers don't just sit down crack their neck and bust out a perfect paper. This is unrealistic and many people think that is what a great writer does.

Than she goes over how the first draft is a “children’s version.” It is just to get your mind going and thoughts out on paper. I think of it like a journal or quick write. It is not about the form, or the grammar but the ideas on paper. Many times we look over our work and are embarrassed about silly mistakes, but for the most part no one will see this draft.

Personally I find it easer to do a first draft on paper, instead of on word. When I type in word, I am trying to move quickly it is hard for me to ignore all the red and green lines that will appear. The perfectionist in me can’t move on till the lines are gone.

I loved her description about her starting the review. I feel like we have all been there. Some papers are easier than others, but we have all been there—pacing around, stressing ourselves out, going and hitting the kitchen for some food to distress.

“So what” and “who cares”

The examples used in this reading really points out the importance just a small saying can make. For example “Scientist used to think” gives the writer some credibly as well informs the reader who cares. As writers we need to make these questions clear.

This reminds me speech class on Thursday. This last Thursday we had an informative speech, which was a long one, about 8-10 minuets. I noticed the best speakers were the ones; who gave clear topic, thesis, as well establishing a connecting to the audience. They gave me a reason to listen and I did not get lost in their speech. Speeches are different, but it is just another a form of witting—much of what I learn in this class I can use in that class.

Draft Interview Questions

1)   What is your official job title?

2)   How many years have you been a CTO?

3)   How long have you been a part of CEPTA, and how often do you write for the journal?

4)   How long have you been working on this article? How many drafts?

5)   What exactly is your goal for this article?

6)   In your words what is the genre for this article?

7)   How did you come up with the rubric? Is this based on a standards, or state laws?

8)   Why did you decide to talk about the companies in this order Iboss, Lightseed, Content Keeper, Securly?

9)   In this article you are trying not to be biased. Was this hard to talk equally about all 4 vendors, by not trying to persuade, or push for a certain vendor?

10) In writing, intended audience is important. How do you change your writing style for different audience? For example CEPTA personal vs teachers and staff at Simi.

11)Building credibility is the way to make people take your writing seriously. What are some ways to convince your audience that you creditable and you should be listened to?

12) Lastly In your job you have to do a lot of writing. What are some tips or tricks you use to persuade people in your day-to-day writings?

Week 5 Readings

Reading Like A Writer.

I liked this reading; his intro story about working in a Theatre was effective. Not only was it entertaining, but also it painted a picture of a man in a red jacket trying to read with a little flashlight. It was a nice segway into how he started to read word for word, sentence for sentence.

            He points out to not just read but rather to think about the writer. Why do they write the way they do? And how do they make you feel the way you do. The writer put a lot of time into their work so everything is done for a reason.

I don't really read often for fun—only when I find a really good series. For example, I read the Games of Throne series about two years ago. Before the show got really popular. I took my time on theses books it took me about a year to read all 5 books. There are a lot of concepts in theses books and by reading slowly I was able to understand more. After reading chapters I remember thinking and pondering about what the writer was doing. I often found myself re-reading passages to obtain a deeper understanding for them.

Don't just read on the service. Did deep, ask questions, think about the genre, the tone, the stance, and take note of what the writer repeats. This is all about being an active reader.

They Say I Say

            This reading brought a great point about how some times people don't listen to others but rather just wait for their turn to speak. I don't see this as a problem so much in our class. However, examples about how to include others are, saying…I agree with you AJ, however have you thought of this… or in addition to what you have said Ron…

Theses tactics show others that you are listening to them—respecting them and their opinion, as well as keeping the conversation going.

The reading also mentions about how many people think that writing professionally means using big words, complex sentences, and ideas. This however, is not true the opposite is true. You don't want your reader to feel lost or confused. That does not mean talk in slang either. One must use a good combination of writing styles.

What is Acadmic Writing

This article goes over the course concepts. It goes over common writing myths that I personally tend to use. It is great advice, as a human being I have been following rules my whole life. We like rules it tells us what is right and wrong. When we are young they teach us rules for writing. Some of us will stick to theses rules—and like a bad habit they can be hard to break.

Artifact Analyst

Artifact Analyst

I reached out to my friend and mentor Phil Scravino. He was my boss at Montecito Union before he decided to leave to work at Simi Valley School District. He responded to my email, and attached one of his draft articles for CEPTA journal (California Educational Technology Professionals Association). He is on the board of directors for this organization.

            Before I dive into the artifact let me explain what he does and what CEPTA is. His job title is CTO (Chief Technology Officer) his job is to work closely with Super Intendant, Principals as well as other admin staff for his school district.

K-12 education has changed a lot since any of our days in school. Technology is a big part of learning. It is incorporated into almost every subject taught. His job is to make decisions district wide about technology policies—devices used, Internet infrastructure, classroom tech, lastly how the teacher uses it to teach. 

           

            CETPA is an state wide organization, which gives a chance for school districts technical employees to meet and learn what others are doing throughout the state. They have an annual conference, and a journal. I attended the conference in November last year. There were over 1000 people at the conference.

            Let me dive into the artifact he send me, it is a 15 page document going over an Engineering Review. This review is of Content filters—This is a device that will filter what students and staff are able to search, while on campus. As the Internet has evolved one can access a lot of great information, however one can also access a lot of damaging information. Schools are required to limit student’s capability to access hurtful information—Porn, Guns, ect…

           

            From the intro forward he insures the reader that the point of this article is to provide raw data collected. Not to give an opinion about which company is best.

They studied 4 different vendors, by creating a rubric and also giving each vendor 3 likes and 3 dislikes. Three different people are testing the vendors—professional IT, Teachers, Students.

“The Rubric is designed to not favor any particular vendor or product design but rather the needs of the costumers.”

With everything I have said lets look at the intended audience. This is an EDTech journal, which is send out to technology employees that work at school districts. The audience is quiet a small group. They are also a skilled group; he does not address the definition or function of a content filter. He expects his audience to already know that information. He does give some background info, but a layperson would have a hard time understanding this article.

The genre I believe a recherché analysis. The paper is about explaining and experiment held, and informing the readers about the pros and cons of each company. Some conventions of this genre include, unbiased opinion, clear experiment, grading scale, professional tone and language, neutral stance.

He used ethos, pathos, logos, and kairos. He uses ethos by dropping names of school districts involved, the testers and their titles, the number of students involved. This all builds credibility for the experiment.

He uses pathos to emphases the importance of a content filter. Once a child sees something inappropriate nothing can be done to take that image away form them. The goal is to block it before it happens.

This is a recherché paper so much of the rhetoric user is Logos. Logically what is the best way for these systems to work with out too little or too much filtering.

He uses kairos mainly talking about the time we live in. This article would not make sense 15 years ago. The evolution of the Internet, and the benefit it can make in schools caused the need for content filtering.